What Would I Do Without You?

To prepare oneself for a new year, my home church in India fasts for 21 days every December. Prepare to me is to be filled with new strength, grace, and the anointing of God for the coming year. The main purpose of fasting is to seek God’s face and get more intimate with him.

God will often use fasting and prayer to show me I need to forgive people who have hurt me, a need to forgive myself, forgive others, and forget it all. It is a time to recognize things I have done wrong and need to repent. 

Fasting and prayer give me the strength to move ahead so God can do new things in and through me. It is about forgetting the old things and focusing on areas in my life that I need to submit to God.  

For change to take place and to grow closer to the Lord, each day during the fast we would spend at least three to five hours seeking God and his presence. I make room in my day to be attentive to the Lord so that I can make a place to be with God and for new things from God. 

“And when you fast, don’t make it obvious, as the hypocrites do, for they try to look miserable and disheveled so people will admire them for their fasting. I tell you the truth, that is the only reward they will ever get. 17 But when you fast, comb your hair[a] and wash your face. 18 Then no one will notice that you are fasting, except your Father, who knows what you do in private. And your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.” Matthew 6:16-18

Photo by Samuel Martins on Unsplash

It was 2017 and Jordan and I were in India on vacation. I had just gone through a small surgery on my eyes and I felt it was important that I ate healthily for the healing process, therefore, I started fasting at this time. I ate whenever I felt a little weak.

I don’t like raw vegetables so my diet was limited to either cucumbers, carrots, eggs, or fruits. I drank a lot of water and in return, I peed a lot. 

On one particular day, I was meditating on Jesus and had to pee. As I got up to go to the washroom, I just said, "Lord, what would I do without you?" It was just one of those questions for which we don't expect an answer, but I heard the Holy Spirit say so clearly and with a still small voice, "What would I do without you?" 

I didn't know what to say, but when he said that to me, I believe something really broke in me. Overwhelmed with emotion, I just wanted to run to my room and kneel and weep. “Why would the God of the universe be in need of me,” I said? The lies that I believed about myself, that I am not important, broke. I was in awe of the Almighty God who loves and cares so much for me. In that moment I felt the deep love of God. 

The God who created the sun and the moon, heaven and earth, was saying to me personally, showing me, how important I am to him. I was overwhelmed by his love. 

We are not here on earth by mistake or by accident. He cares for every individual as he cared for Jesus. God loved us so much that he didn't think twice to give his son for us. John 3:16 

We are here on this earth with a purpose. For me, the biggest purpose is to know how God loves me and to love him back. Our identity comes from God. We belong to him and he never once regrets that he created us. 

Our relationship with God is very personal. We are not just a dot in this whole universe though it may seem that way. He values what he creates. He wants to work in and through everybody. He is close to everybody who calls on him. 

The Bible says, “The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth.” Psalm 145:18

He'd really love it if we all partnered and worked with Him. He wants to partner with you. What can God do through you?

1 Peter 2:19 Exodus 19:5,4

“God’s love to His people is not of yesterday. It did not begin with their love to Him. No, “we love him because He first loved us” (1John 4:19). We do not first give to Him, that He may return to us again. Our regeneration is not the motive of His love, rather His love is the reason why He renews us after His image.”

“All the acts of God to His people in time are the expressions of the love He bore them from eternity. It is because God loves us in Christ, and has done so from everlasting, that the gifts of His love are irrevocable.” 

Arthur W. Pink, The Attributes of God 

Photo by Adam Jaime on Unsplash