Teresa Odden

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Denying Yourself on Social Media

I grew up in the era when typewriters produced documents and telephones hung on walls. It wasn’t until I was in high school when the cordless telephone came to the Patrick’s home. This hi-tech gizmo expanded my reach and I could talk with my girlfriends in my bedroom. Unfortunately, my father limited where I could carry on conversations with friends and my bedroom wasn’t one of them.

All conversations were public. He told me if I had something to say it could be done in front of others. He restricted the length of our calls to 10 or 15 minutes. “Say what you have to say and hang up.” “There’s nothing more to say other than to gossip,” he would add. There was zero tolerance for gossip in the Patrick household.

My father wasn’t a Christian, yet he was an example of what is taught in Psalm 34:13: “Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.”

It takes two parties to gossip even if only one does the talking. Proverbs 17:4 states, “Wrongdoers eagerly listen to gossip …” If I lend an ear to slander, I’m also guilty.

I’m responsible for what I say and who and what I listen to. Nobody walks away unscathed from fault-finding whispers. I believe this includes what I post on social media and I feel strongly that God will hold us accountable for what we post and take part in on these platforms.

Somehow we think writing on social media isn’t included in this command, but once we put our thoughts out there they are public for everybody to see and take part in. There’s no pulling back and we have no control over the conversation. Our intent may not have been mean-spirited but it only takes one to spin it as such. Therefore, our post, our Like, must come from a pure heart and motive.  

Matthew 12:36 states that on the day of judgment God will judge us for every word that we speak.

“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, 37 for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:36

 One way I show my support on an issue is to like a comment. However, if it’s a bit controversial and I agree with it, I won’t share it, but I may still give it a thumbs up. It’s my way of not provoking others. Is that right?

 I’ve had to step back and evaluate how I’m an ear to the conversation by simply agreeing to others’ comments and opinions. Am I spurring the conversation on?

Christians are to be set apart from the world. We are to live in the world, but we are not of the world. John 17:15-18

The Passion Translation states: “Your life and ministry must not be disgraced, for you are to be a pure container of Christ and dedicated to the honorable purposes of your Master, prepared for every good work that he gives you to do.”

I’m taking time for some self-reflection to determine how my behavior on social media honors God and others. Andrew Murray stated that “God wants His child every moment to have a heart filled with the love of the Spirit. In the eyes of God, it is most unnatural to expect a man to love as he should if he is not filled with the Spirit.” The Master's Indwelling

God’s Word provides the tools I need to live a righteous life and ensure my actions come from a pure heart.  Below are several passages in scripture that leave no hint of how we are to walk in righteousness with our neighbors:

  • “Judge not or you will be judged.”

  • Be kind and tenderhearted, and forgiving one another. (Ephesians 4:32).

  • “Do to others as you want them to do to you.” Luke 6:31

  • “Outdo one another in showing honor.” Romans 12:10 (ESV)

  • “Honor everybody.” I Peter 2

  • “Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests.” Philippians 2:4 TPT

  • Do not rebuke. I Timothy 5:1-2

  • “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Galatians 5:12

  • Do not provoke one another. Galatians 5:26

  • Is there any hint of my post that is mean-spirited?

Typewriters have been replaced with computers and computers transmit communication around the world. There is no “hanging up.” Our whispers are irreversible. As my father did, my Heavenly Father gives me a gentle nudge when it’s time to quit talking.

Our phones extend far beyond the four walls of our homes. It’s not just an era to evaluate what I say on the telephone or one-on-one. How do our conversations across all lines of telecommunication honor God and people?

If I proclaim to live a Christ-life, my life should always convey love towards my neighbor, including on social media.

Ephesians 4:29 states, "Don’t let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what’s helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ask yourself:

  • Do you convey your passions and message in a way that builds others up and benefits those who are listening on social media?

  • Do you intentionally provoke those who read your page?

  • If the post is mean-spirited, do you hide behind your computer clicking “like” or giving a thumbs-up, opposed to removing yourself from the conversation? As yourself. If it was a person-to-person conversation, would you have walked away?

How many times have I been like Peter? God said, “Deny yourself,” and yet three times he denied his Lord. Mark 8:34-38; Luke 22:59-62

Is God asking you to deny your opinion on social media; deny yourself?

 “8Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 10 For

“Whoever desires to love life
    and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
    and his lips from speaking deceit;
11 let him turn away from evil and do good;
    let him seek peace and pursue it.
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
    and his ears are open to their prayer.
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

I Peter 3:8-12